There is a person behind this mask..

Growing up i was a typical tomboy , I wore football tops and tracksuit bottoms , I didnt have a care in the world about what i looked like. Most of my friends where boys. I think my personality matched better with them, Dont get me wrong i had friends that were girls too but i just felt more comfortable with the boys.
I was never one of the "pretty" girls in school, i wasn't a girl the boys oggled over, i was a little plain jane that blended into the back ground so easily. I think this is what first set off with my love/hate relationship with my appearance.

In my late teens early twenties i had this self perception that I needed to wear makeup to make myself beautiful, make myself stand out from the crowd! I mean when did i ever let my self esteem get so low? Probably would have been easier if people would stop telling me that i looked ill or asking was i ok when i did appear with no makeup.

soon i got to the stage where i wouldnt leave the house without my "face" on. I would have a full face done just to sit in the house! It was Ridiculous!!
I felt in a way it was a mask I could cower behind, I would put on my warpaint and this whole new person evolved, shining with confidence and not a care in world of what other people thought, and of course attracted attention.but really behind this mask was a little girl with no self confidence what so ever!!

The older i got the worse i became, i mean i have a genuine fear of people seeing me without makeup! No joke! It puts the fear of god in me! I just want to get to the point where i can say f#*k it today is going to be a no makeup day ,rather than hibernate in my room when people come to visit unexpectedly before i have managed to paint my face!!
Having daughters i am so cautious never to show them how low my self esteem really is, to them i put on my makeup to keep my face warm, i tell them every single day how beautiful they are and that they should never feel they NEED to wear makeup when they are older to make themselves feel pretty.
My lovlies i want you all to know that you are all gorgeous!!

I hope you all have an amazing day but for now its love, hugs and kisses from littlepainted me xxxooo